Living in South Korea, where cellphone penetration is nearly 100%, the culture of electronic communication is astonishing. It’s normal to see 60 year old women texting effortlessly or 9 year olds using their phones to take pictures and videos of anything they find remotely amusing.
This culture of hyper-connectedness has made me keenly aware of communication habits, both my own and of others. My cellphone usage has sharply increased during my time here, despite having a smaller circle of friends than back home.
Gen Y Never Eats Alone
I realized that with all the avenues of communication available, I’m never, ever really alone. If I’m having lunch by myself, I’ve noticed that I’ll send text messages to people in order to relieve the silence. If I’m bored on the subway, I’ll call or text someone.
If I’m working on something on my laptop — at least one IM program will be open. Sometimes I’ll sign on and passively leave it in the background. I’ll happily oblige if someone engages me in conversation, but I’m content with simply being available.
In my unscientific poll of some colleagues, it’s clear that I’m not alone in doing this. Viewing it objectively, it looks like a strange behaviour. What’s the point of all this seemingly needless connectivity?
The Facebook High
This always-on mindset could be indicative of a generation with low self-esteem. I still remember the days before ubiquitous cellphones, email, IMs and social networking. If you wanted to get in touch with a friend, you’d have to hope they were near a landline or you would go to their house. If you couldn’t connect with them…no fuss, no big deal.
But now that we can connect with our friends (and expect to hear a response anywhere within 24 seconds to 24 hours), we’ve tied our ability to connect into our self-identity. Because we are used to being surrounded by people — from our helicopter parents to our always-available peers — we have become dependent on their communication and addicted to their contact. Are we a generation that self-medicates its emotional issues by sending out texts?
Our personalities are now inextricably linked to our cellphones and Facebook walls. Notification of a new text or message can trigger a dose of excitement, a microsecond-high that makes you think ooh, what could this be? That’s why some people (affectionately known as “Facebook whores”) are so addicted to Facebook. It’s constant reinforcement that says yes, I have friends, and yes, I have social value.
The desire to be liked is certainly not unique to Gen Y. But this is the first generation where you can actually measure your popularity. Just count the text messages in your phone and see how many Facebook friends you have.
February 2, 2009 on 1:31 pm
I completely agree that the people are more connected then ever and tend to lean on those connections in order to never have to be alone. Being okay with yourself in your own head is essential to inner happiness…so if you are always connected to someone else you’ll never know who you really are. We’ve got to take time out everyday to be alone. Thanks for highlighting this issue!
February 2, 2009 on 2:37 pm
Interesting, I agree that I’m always messing with my phone to feel connected. But sometimes it’s nice to look up from the phone too
Great post.
February 2, 2009 on 3:52 pm
David – I am the same way. My iPhone is out when eating lunch by myself solicitng info on Twitter. Right now I have gMial, Google Reader, GTalk, AIM and FB open and am trying to get work done.
I always want to be approachable if someone needs something, whether it is a client, a friend or a new request from someone who found me on the interweb.
As more and more mobile communications, platforms and applications evolve, connectivity among everyone and not just Gen-Y will grow exponentially. Almost 1/3 of all phones in the US are smart phones and fixed rate data plans continue to become affordable for all families.
Makes you think about how connected you actually want to be.
February 2, 2009 on 3:55 pm
Just wanted to comment on a phenomenon this Gen Xer has noticed, and also give some admiration to how well you articulated it. I am connected a lot, but find it incredibly tiring. I have created space for myself to have alone time. Being a latchkey kid in the 80′s really taught me the beauty and value of alone time. I crave it now that I’m a busy working mom and wife. Spending that time with yourself is needed – as you move into a developed career, and start a family, I’d be interested in how this phenomenon progresses. Will groups that rely on connectedness be able to sustain them? What happens when face time starts taking over?
Anyways, I have some rules for peace of mind. I never have anyone call me on my cell except my husband/family. I don’t text (easier for the Xers – we’re generally not texters) and I only check my personal emails twice a day. The beauty is conversations get richer, because there’s a lot more to talk about and catch up on. I also get to take time to read, draw/paint, or cook. Time alone is wonderful.
Keep up the great blog – nice work!
February 2, 2009 on 10:10 pm
Very interesting post.
While I’m not sure I agree entirely with the conclusions made about Gen-Y’s self-esteem I do agree that Gen-Y, as a group, has been “wired” differently. Both emotionally and literally.
Keep up the good work!
February 3, 2009 on 12:28 am
Hi David, I’m not sure we need to reassure ourselves that we have friends and social value, but I do think we have a strong need to feel connected, to interact.
I always enjoyed interacting (mail, email, instant message/chat, text) . Not sure if its a Gen Y thing or a James thing, but it’s there. Just today, I was getting pounded at work, so I had to cut out twitter completely for a few hrs and as soon as I was done with the pressing project, I jumped right back on because I felt disconnected.
It’s true that we’re rarely alone, but I don’t think it’s because we have low self-esteem as a generation. Interesting perspective though.
James
@jaywalk1
February 8, 2009 on 5:40 am
Teen Coach/Gen Y Guide “best of the web” this week…
Parenting Teens and Generation Y – great resources and information for you to be aware of:
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February 8, 2009 on 12:42 pm
We spend more time on social networking sites than with the people. We like to tweet more than talk to people.
Welcome to the world of technology. It is handy to make friends.
Cheers,
Santosh Puthran
February 15, 2009 on 10:35 am
I’m pissed that I didn’t know about your blog until now. My roommate told me to check it out!
E
My bad…I will now be a faithful reader. Good stuff.
February 16, 2009 on 3:09 pm
Interesting take on things. Made me think of this article I just read on the rise of colleges using social media to recruit — trick — students into signing on the dotted line.
http://www.youthmarketing.com/blogging-for-brands-reaching-out-to-millenials/
March 22, 2009 on 9:58 pm
Stories of South Korea always grasp my interest. My cell phone and constant texting became a way of life the few years I lived there. Even as much as people cite connectedness and online addiction through Facebook/Myspace, etc. in the US, Korea is 1000x more intensely connected through CyWorld. Korea is also even more so about ALWAYS having a companion. My foreigner friends and I always commented on the large number of couples and how all the menus are specifically designed for two.
Ironically I probably became the most independent I ever was there. I went on my own, lived on my own, and wasn’t under the umbrella of an English teaching program like so many are. I couldn’t be bothered to cook and there were tons of great restaurants near me in the $5 range so I ate out every meal, often alone.
You do mention an interesting point though. For some reason the older generation in Korea has much more readily adapted to a high-tech lifestyle than in the US.
March 31, 2009 on 6:24 am
I like it! I was pondering on this topic recently too. Low self-esteem I believe is just one aspect. Don’t know about Korea, but to me it seems to be the new social addiction that we have gotten into after the 24-hours-tele-watching hype has become outdated. In some way being online available all the time seems yet another convenient and socially facilitated excuse to keep ourselves asleep so we can avoid feeling uncomfortable. If we were to be more present we would perhaps meet ourselves in an empty moment and ultimately discover: We are alone, and that’s a good thing too.
cheers, v
April 17, 2009 on 7:39 pm
I think Facebook especially has become a way to establish an identity. Communications like mobile text messaging and IM are instantaneous and rapid, existing only for a few seconds. Facebook has somewhat more of a permanent, solid presence. In listing interests and posting photos, people begin to contain the necessary tools to create judgments and external identity analysis. I’m not sure this is a good thing, since Facebook identities and sincere identities may not be consistent. Furthermore, I agree with the fact that we’ve begun to quantify popularity, although its lack of accuracy can pose serious issues.
May 12, 2009 on 2:35 pm
i find it frightening how much i actually use my phone to text, check my email, instant message, etc.
i spent a week in mexico last summer and on day 2, my laptop died (forever). on day 3, my BB stopped getting consistent service. so i locked it all in the safety deposit box and let go. once the withdrawals faded it was actually kind of nice being disconnected!
i still can’t imagine how people survived before technology, though
November 12, 2009 on 10:12 am
you nailed it!!!!
March 4, 2010 on 5:45 pm
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