I was caught off-guard by the sheer simplicity and clarity of the message. With “Drive One”, Ford isn’t trying to inspire anybody. There is no intent to build brand image or brand associations. Poetry, this ain’t. No emotion is evoked by these two words.

I found it strangely refreshing. It is a direct order to the customer. The call to action isn’t embedded in the slogan, it is the slogan. It’s almost like they got tired of trying to be cool, just threw their hands up in their air and said, okay, people, just buy the friggin cars, k?? It cuts through the bullshit and gets to the point.

Is Ford onto something? Maybe advertisers should just have the brand message explicitly in their slogans. There are no lines to read between and no one gets confused.

What would some Gen Y brands say if they were this honest?

Activia

Danone’s use of Bifidus Regularis has caused some controversy, since Bifidus Regularis is nothing more than a made-up word to sound scientific.

Axe

Not too much work to draw this one up. Axe ads are explicit in more ways than one.

Hollister

Only people with 4% bodyfat and perfect facial symmetry wear Hollister. Since you’re wearing Hollister, that must mean you’re one of those people, right?
More thoughts on Hollister here.

I Am Not A Plastic Bag

Anya Hindmarch’s popular, eco-trendy “I Am Not A Plastic Bag” was really nothing more than pretentiousness in the form of a canvas sack.

Red Bull

Red Bull does give you wings…because it has a synergistic effect with alcohol.

Here’s to hoping Ford gets rewarded for their forthrightness.

These ads are targeted at baby boomers — why?! This is a demographic that is supposed to be watching their health, not knocking back root beers and eating burgers and onion rings. In fact, these people are probably the last people who will eat fast food for dinner, because they don’t have any rituals that line up with this. When you’re over 35, taking your wife/date out for fast food is a horrible insult. You don’t take your clients to fast food. No. You take your kids there.

This hurts me, because I actually like A&W. More so than McDonald’s, Burger King or Wendy’s, which I personally find to be interchangeable.

They need to target a younger demographic. Gen Y. The power demographic. You know, the one that will displace baby boomers? And the one that actually spends time and money at fast food joints?

The fast food market has room for at least one more player, especially when you’ve got enough differentiation.

More A&W ads should be like this:

But no, I bet they’ll stick to marketing to a generation who they think could use a little more artery plaque.

They’ve been using bears to sell toilet paper since 2000. Can anyone explain the connection?

Bears are SCARY. Bears are ferocious creatures, are 8 feet tall, have giant claws and can outrun/outclimb you, so forget about going up into a tree, Tarzan. Your only chance is to have a gun, and I doubt you could bring yourself to shoot Winnie the Pooh, so let’s get real, you actually have no chance whatsoever.

But…wait a minute…bears have soft, thick fur — so they’re telling me it’s like wiping my behind with a 500 thread-count duvet. Teddy bears are cute. There’s also the care bears. And gummy bears! Maybe bears have gotten a bad rap!

The mother bear in the ad also dances around, and has a child with it. You know times are hard when you have to swipe pick-a-nick baskets for food, so it decides to get the best available toilet paper for its money, which happens to be Charmin.

Now I get it!